


Until the End.

by partypoisoned



Category: My Chemical Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8718013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partypoisoned/pseuds/partypoisoned
Summary: Gerard Way tries to commit suicide requested by his brother, Mikey, because of Gerard's past. Frank Iero doesn't want a relationship but ends up falling in love with Gerard Way.





	1. The drugs that never seem to fucking work

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Frerard fic! You can also find this story on Wattpad. My username: party-poisoned

"Maybe I will do it this time!" 

Gerard screamed at his brother. Mikey was also yelling at him. For ruining his life again. He was shouting things that hurt Gerard to no possible end. He wished Mikey would take every word back. He wished Mikey cared for him like he used to. Gerard didn't know how he could apologize for what he had done several years ago. Gerard thought he had said he was sorry. So many, so many times. Gerard wished that Mikey's answer would have been one of kindness after what Gerard had just mentioned. But it wasn't. It was a punch to the gut.

"GOOD! Once I see you do, I may actually forgive you, Gerard. Fuck, I hate you." Mikey hissed, his words laced with hatred and poison. Gerard's eyes blurred with the tears that threatened to spill. Mikey actually said it this time. Usually when Gerard brought up suicide, Mikey would just shake his head and say that he was too young to die. For some strange reason, it was different today. Maybe Gerard really should fall though with the job. Maybe he will. Mikey shot Gerard with a glare. "Are you fucking going to leave and get it done?! I'm sick of seeing your fucking face around here." 

Gerard just stood there in silence. He didn't know whether he should stay or go. He and Mikey's mother would be struck with devastation. She may not be able to carry on but then Gerard remembered the last conversation he had with his mother. She had told him to go fuck himself. No one cared about him anymore. He really really fucked up his family. Gerard let out a strangled sob. "I'm fucking leaving, Mikey." Gerard whispered. Mikey just rolled his eyes.

"I care enough for you to tell you that you shouldn't try killing yourself by jumping." After stating that, Mikey apparently got bored with Gerard and turned back to his room. Mikey was going to go back to his boyfriend and probably fuck Pete hard. That was his usual hobby besides getting high and the occasional loving visit to their mother. Only Mikey's mother now though.

Gerard slumped to the ground and sobbed. HIs hands were getting shaky from the thought of being gone. Dead. He knew he had to do it though. His brother told him too. And Gerard loved Mikey so much he would even kill himself if it made him that damned happy. What an asshole of a brother he had. Around ten minutes passed before Gerard was able to stand up and shakily reach for the car keys. Gerard looked around his house one last time and debated whether or not to write a letter. He was stalling but he wanted to do this. After at least a minute of searching, Gerard produced a pen and a piece of scrap paper. 

I can't go back. I don't think I will. Remember when you and I would make things up? So many nights, just take me down to the place we could hear them play. I miss that sound. I hope you are fucking happy, brother

It took so much effort not to sob. Gerard had written the song for his brother right after the accident. Gerard hugged his arms and tried quieting himself. God, he missed his brother. Mikey was nothing like he was before. He had grown distant and not the funny brother he used to know. Gerard fucked him up. Gerard fucked up his mother. Gerard fucked up his forever dead father. Gerard even fucked up himself. He let out another sob. Gerard wanted to be able to run into Mikey's arms and let Mikey run his hand through his hair to comfort him. He wanted Mikey to tell him everything was okay. That he loved him. But it was too fucking late. It was too fucking late when Gerard made his decision. Gerard left the note up on the fridge and heard moaning coming from upstairs. At least Mikey had someone he could love. Even when that person was a whore and tended to get high way to often. Gerard missed his brother. He missed his brother so much. Why does this love for my loathing brother have to hurt this fucking much?

Gerard walked out the door and started the car. He sat there for quite awhile before remembering what he was supposed to be doing. Gerard needed to list his options of death. There were many ways to go. He mentally crossed out jumping in courtesy to his brother. It left him with two of the most famous choices. Gun or overdosage. 

Guns were fast. It was easy since he already owned a gun. It was in the back of the car. It was simple really to plan exactly when and where you were going to die. But, it would take effort. Gerard wasn't sure if he actually wanted to die and he would be the one pulling the trigger. Then there would be a pool of blood. His face would be ruined and that was something his ghost wouldn't be able to deal with. Gerard realized then that overdose was probably the best bet. Whichever way you look at it though, they both had their pros and cons. Guns were fast. Pills were not. Pills saved your face while a gun would distort it. 

Gerard sighed and looked at the time. Holy shit, he wasted almost two hours thinking about his death. Not like it was a problem to die later, in fact he was hesitant to die, but he didn't want to seem like a coward in front of his brother. He also didn't want to see his brother's face when Mikey finds him outside, in the car and not dead. He didn't want Mikey to have second thoughts. Even though Mikey hated him, he knew that Mikey would never be this heartless. So, Gerard started the car up again and drove to the nearest drugstore hoping that they had pills strong enough to kill him. Hopefully not too painful either. 

Gerard wasn't very keen on pain.


	2. Frank met a hot guy at CVS (then forgets about him for a good solid ten minutes)

Frank considered whether he should or shouldn't quit his job at the CVS Pharmacy. He worked extended hours and his manager was, to put it bluntly, a dickhead. Frank needed the money though. He was completely broke and he lived with a man that said he should be working for his own money. Ray, his flatmate, solely believed that each man should work for himself. Ray Toro was a very interesting man. Frank owed him so much too. Ray sheltered him after his parents kicked him out of the house. Frank still found it painful thinking about the last thing his father said when Frank explained that he was well, gay. Frank wished he didn't screw up with his family. He wished he never came out. Frank groaned when he was reminded he needed to stop playing hooky from school. Frank wanted to get back in to finish so he could get a scholarship. The only thing keeping him at Ray's place was the fact that he was scared. Scared to be judged and to be alone.

Frank sighed and looked at the time. His shift ended in around a hour. Thank God it's almost time for lock down. He was desperately in need of sleep and some other useless distraction. Frank had woken up early that morning drenched in sweat from another one of his nightmares. His nightmares consisted of his anxieties. It was getting worse each day too. Frank probably needed to get medication for it but he kept denying that he never had a problem. It was only a trench that he was digging for himself. 

Frank zoned out for about ten minutes before he heard a chime of the door go off. Frank snapped out of his trance and looked up to see a teenager around his age walk in through the door. The boy was very tall, had jet black hair, and wearing what looked like what he wore to bed. And fuck, did he look like shit. His eyes were rimmed red and he looked like he still was in the middle of crying. Frank thought he was attractive. Frank wanted to hit himself for that thought. The teen didn't even glance at Frank as he shuffled to the back of the store to browse. It did make Frank slightly uncomfortable watching someone cry. He decided that while the guy was still browsing, he could be at least a little productive and get some of his chores done to make it easier on him before he called it a day. He was able to sweep up the floor before Frank had to inevitably make eye contact with the teen.

Frank heard a cough coming from the boy and Frank turned around to find the guy looking at him with a questioning look. "Which of these are the strongest?" The boy's voice came out as a croak but it weirdly sounded beautiful. Frank just stood there for a few stupid seconds, processing exactly what the teen had said. It did seem slightly weird that he was asking for that. Frank tossed that thought away almost immediately. Like he was the one to judge. Frank walked over to the shelf the guy was looking through. "Well, um, I don't exactly know which one...." Frank trailed off and realized he did actually have a recommendation for once. He grabbed a bottle from the third shelf. It read "Excedrin". Frank shrugged and handed the bottle to the teen. "I'm not really an expert but this worked wonders for my last headache." The teen froze and looked down at the bottle Frank had just placed in his hands. Frank guessed whatever problem he had, it made him emotional and jumpy. Maybe the poor guy was high. But what came out of the teen's mouth was something he really didn't expect. 

"Do you think these would be able to force me sleep....for a long time?" He spoke quietly. Frank had to lean close to hear him. Frank's eyes widened once his words finally processed through his brain. "W-what are you implying?" Frank said this in a low voice. Fuck, this guy wasn't saying what he thought he was saying, was he? It took a painfully long time for the guy to answer. He sucked up a breath and casually shrugged before stating, "Sleeping problems." Frank let go of the breath he was holding but he still felt slightly uneasy.

"You really know how to scare shit out of people." Frank let out a breezy laugh. The poor guy just looked strangely uncomfortable and looked down at his feet. If Frank had been paying more attention, he would've seen the obvious guilty look that had darkened over his face. But, the completely naive Frank ignored the signs and led the guy to check out. Completely oblivious that the guy in front of him was just about to make a life or death decision. Literally.

As Frank scanned the item for the guy, he couldn't help but to wonder what really was going on through his head. Frank placed the pills in a bag even when he knew it was a waste of a good bag. Frank deeply cared for the environment but when he was tired, Frank could give even less than a fuck.

"That will be seven fifty." Frank even sounded tired now. Frank watched as the guy patted down both his coat and jeans searching for his wallet. Frank heard an incoherent curse from the guy too. "Shit. I fucking forgot my wallet..." He looked like he was panicking too. Frank sighed. "To be honest, I'm not allowed to do this but it's really okay to stop on by later to pay..." Frank was stopped when the guy let out a strangled sob. Frank looked away because he started getting uncomfortable. 

"S-sorry, I-I just don't think I can pay ever." Frank stiffened. The guy continued. "I'm from o-out of town and I'm t-trying to leave tonight." Frank frowned at the guy. He wasn't looking at him while saying this and he was stuttering. He was fucking lying. Frank waved him off and the guy looked relieved. What a liar. Frank was disgusted with the teen for lying his way into not paying for the damned drugs. Frank decided to let him keep the pills. He looked like he needed them anyways. Frank handed the guy the bag without another question. Frank figured it was okay to throw out a threat too. "Just don't come back, asshole. You would've been caught if it was anyone but me." Frank tried for a smirk. The teen looked like he wasn't looking for humor then. He just nodded and left the store without a second glance. 

All Frank thought about while he finished lock down, was the fact that he had a warm bed awaiting him at home. Not aware that the guy he was talking to, only a little bit earlier, was about to commit suicide.


	3. Like, what the fuck Gee?

Gerard stepped out into the cold air, holding the drugs that would kill him. Gerard didn't know exactly what he was thinking. He didn't need to die. But he fucking had to. Gerard was procrastinating. He really didn't want to die but he knew that no one would care for him if he was alive. No one would mourn at his funeral, if he even had one. No one would remember him. No one fucking cared for Gerard. No one. 

Gerard took a deep breath and walked to his car. Gerard felt his heart plummet as he opened the box of pills. This was really fucking happening. He wasn't going to swallow them with water, Gerard decided. Gerard took a deep breath as he dumped the pills out in the palm of his hand. He counted them. There were at least 20 pills there. Gerard reckoned that would do the job. 

Gerard took one more look at the area around him and memorized his surroundings. He didn't know why he was trying to remember so hard. He probably wouldn't even be able to go through his mind in hell and relive these kind of moments. Gerard shook the thoughts out and got back to the task at hand. He shoved the pills down his throat then he smiled. A real smile which he hadn't used since he was eight, when he was naive and protected from the real world. 

"So long and goodnight." Gerard whispered softly. Gerard felt the drugs seep through his veins and he fell backwards onto the cold and hard cement. He felt a deep pain throbbing throughout his chest; it bloomed across his body and soon he couldn't feel a thing at all. The drugs were doing it's job. Gerard was happy. Gerard was finally able to lift all his burdens off his shoulders as his vision faded in and out of focus. Gerard decided that in this darkness he could at least savor some moments talking to Mikey. Even when Gerard knew Mikey couldn't and probably wouldn't ever be able to hear him.

So long and goodnight, Mikey. I loved you until the very end. Please forgive me, your only brother. Forgive the fact that you can't stop me. And if you won't forgive me, well, follow in my steps and come with me. We can bathe in the fires of hell together. Maybe we can see father and burn with him. We don't deserve anything. Nothing deserves us either. We are sons of a bitch and complete assholes. But I'm okay with that. I hope you can be okay with that too. I loved you more than anything.

But something or someone was interrupting what he had left of his fucking peace. Someone was screaming and shaking him to wake up. Fuck off. That's all Gerard could think to say before he blacked out from the drugs.

_______________

Frank kneeled over the guy who just fucking swallowed the whole damned bottle of pills. He had tried and failed to get the guy to fucking wake the hell up. Frank cursed at himself for not foreseeing this earlier. How the actual fuck did he not see this coming? He knew something was wrong. Why didn't he see? He grabbed his phone out of his back pocket and dialed 911. Even if Frank didn't know the guy or even particularly cared for him, he knew that it would be absolutely heartless to leave the guy close or even already dead. 

"911 what's your emergency?" A generic woman's voice sounded over the phone speaker. 

"There is a guy who just fucking t-tried to commit s-suicide?! I-I don't even know if he is alive or not!" Frank's voice stuttered. He was losing it. Frank told the lady the address and she said they would be there in two minutes. Fucking two minutes.

Frank wondered if the guy would even survive this. Fuck, he swallowed the whole fucking bottle of drugs that Frank prescribed to him! God, Frank started panicking. He paced back and forth between the guy and his car. Waiting. Fucking waiting for an ambulance that was probably not even coming anytime soon. What felt like eternity, was really a minute. Frank heard the sirens and stopped pacing. 

"Oh thank God." Frank breathed as men came racing out of the ambulance to pull the poor guy up on a stretcher. They checked his vital signs. Let's just say it was one of the most tense moments Frank had to endure. After a few seconds, someone reported back.

"Holy shit, he's alive." One of the doctors, wearing a ball cap, looked down at Frank. Frank was so fucking relieved. Holy shit is right! "He does seem like he's breathing for now. We are going to get him to the hospital and quick. You can follow us." Frank vaguely nodded and headed to his car. He probably shouldn't go to the hospital too but this guy did owe him an apology for making him worry for him. Frank didn't even care if he sounded selfish then. He was sacrificing sleep for this damned hospital visit.

_______________

Gerard felt strangely uncomfortable. Where the fuck was he? This didn't feel like fucking hell or even heaven. It felt gray....If that counts as a feeling, this is what it felt like. Gerard's mind kept pulling up blank. He tried remembering something, anything. But nothing was fucking coming up except the feeling like he should be dead. What the fuck happened?! Gerard didn't know what to fucking do so he waited in this weird grayish part of his brain, at least he thought it was, forever. And he waited even longer than even that. Waited until eternity seemed insignificant.

What the fuck? Gerard was scared but he couldn't remember exactly why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuck, I write short chapters.


	4. The hospital that acutely started the Frerard fandom (phandom for most of us)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hello guys! If you are reading my fic, I'm not surprised. I'm too fabulous to resist. XD Joking (3 am rn) Anyways, thanks guys if you're reading this... It rly makes me happy to see someone who cares for the stuff I write (even though it's super shitty). I'm basically going to (hopefully) write lots of fluff. And must likely, SPOILER! no one will die! Unless you are a sadist and enjoy someone's pain like I do, this would be good news. 
> 
> (I feel bad that the only reason why I'm writing this is to procrastinate)
> 
> Question: What is your favorite Danger Days song? Mine has a four way tie; Planetary (Go!), Vampire Money, Na Na Na, and lastly DESTROYA. But then I like all the fucking songs... Let's just say I love the whole album equally

Frank waited and waited in the hospital lobby for God knows how long. Frank kept thinking back about how stupid he was for not tallying the signs of suicide the guy had shown. Damn. Frank was laying all the blame on himself when he knew it really wasn't him that made the decision. Frank started fading in and out of exhaustion. This would be the third sleepless night he had this week. Frank decided that if the guy wasn't going anywhere, he could afford some sleep. It was also helpful that he knew the guy's name too. Gerard Way. It was a bold name. Frank laid his head against the wall and nodded off thinking about what he would say to Gerard Way, the guy he just saved.

"Gerard Way?" Frank stirred at the name but didn't make any move to wake up and open his eyes. The voice repeated the guy's name and Frank shot his eyes open and groaned. Frank had a headache forming in the back of his head. Those were always the worst. Frank rubbed his eyes and yawned as he stood up. "I'm here for him." And with that Frank was taken back through the hospital to see the guy he had waited for for the last five hours. The nurse didn't smile as she pointed to one of the rooms. She looked worried. Shit.

"He's in there but he's not responding to anything we are giving him. Because of this, I only want you in there of about ten minutes, okay?" Frank just nodded and entered the room to face Gerard Way. Frank really wanted to talk to him while he was at least well, awake. Frank fucking waited for him to wake up for fucking hours and he comes in to this? Frank sighed and pulled up a chair which he sat down upon immediately. Frank really couldn't speak to Gerard Way but he took this chance to fully look at his features. This doesn't sound stalkerish at all. 

Gerard was a beautiful person. Frank didn't even think someone could look this good, passed out and in a hospital but, Gerard, well, he pulled it off. Gerard's hair splayed across his pillow and it was shaded a lovely raven black; Frank wondered if he dyed his hair. Then there was Gerard's nose. God, his nose was one of a pixie. Frank smiled and then traced his eyes over Gerard's lips- Frank stopped his thoughts with that one. Was he really thinking about kissing those lips? Fuck no. Fuck me, Frank cursed, How could I be so fucking shallow? Frank didn't know this guy and he was already wondering if he could kiss him? Frank shook his head and shakily stood up. Which ended up with him shoving his chair back so hard that it slammed to the ground with a loud thud. Shit, Frank had to leave this place. Frank couldn't and wouldn't get close to Gerard Way. Frank didn't need someone in his life. Especially him, someone who was completely Frank's type. Fuck fuck fuck. Frank needed to get the hell out of there and smoke. So Frank did just that. The nurse whom helped him earlier, tried asking him if he was okay but Frank didn't give two shits. Frank flipped her off and continued out the hospital doors. No way in hell would Frank be welcomed back in the hospital if he kept this up.

How could a man like Gerard Way, someone who tried to kill himself, be so fucking perfect? And so Frank's type? Frank made a silent promise as he walked out. Frank was not going to try to meet this guy again. He wasn't going to care for him. And Frank sure as fucking hell will never fall in love with Gerard Way.

_________________

Gerard felt the darkness in his mind clear slightly. Gerard was hoping far too much, to get the fuck out of this- this.....blank space. Yes, a fucking blank space where he couldn't remember something or anything and he was forced to spend eternity thinking about fucking nothing. Heck, this was worse than Hell itself but he really wasn't the one to talk. Gerard succumbed to the fact that he wasn't get out of his brain. Until he heard a distant thud that was. It came from somewhere that wasn't here, in Gerard's mind. It had to have been something from outside his brain, right?

If Gerard could sob, he reckoned that he would right now. Gerard was going out of his mind (literally). He wanted to fucking wake up. And there were no one outside that was helping him get out of this. No one. He felt so helpless and out of control.This is why I should've not failed death. Gerard stilled. Where did this thought come from? Gerard strained to remember what memory had just popped up but it was already drifting away, far away, and out of his reach. 

His ever existent thought to die was absolutely, fucking right. Life only screwed with him and made it harder for him to let go. But it was too late, Gerard didn't want to die anymore. His thoughts started clearing up when he realized he finally had a goal. 

Gerard was going to fight through death and stay alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Im forcing myself not to delete the first note I wrote. It's so fucking cringe worthy XD
> 
> Please tell me what you think! I'm going to pick up the speed soon I guess? Right now its all a weird jumble of 'what the fucks' and me placing the setting XD
> 
> whoops. i didn't edit this chapter.
> 
> and look how fucking short these chapters are.


	5. Awkward moment when the title grew too long for the chapter. TWICE.

Frank hadn't heard any news about Gerard Way all week. 

Of course, Frank should've felt better because he had said earlier that he never wanted to see Gerard again. Frank also didn't want any trouble in his life. Frank wanted to live quietly and safe but, Gerard...Well...Gerard looked like he ran wild. Gerard looked like he chased after the stars while Frank stood alone and just stared at them. No matter what Frank did to try and forget about Gerard, he couldn't escape the anxiety he was feeling over Gerard fucking Way. Frank was scared that the guy still wasn't responding and was dead. Frank really shouldn't care about others but here he was, worried sick that Gerard Way was in fact, not okay. Fuck this promise. Frank was pissed that he kept thinking about Gerard so to satisfy the nagging of his brain, Frank decided to visit the hospital. Even if Frank knew he was getting himself into loads of shit. 

Frank walked into the waiting room and headed straight to the secretary. The secretary looked up and smiled at Frank.

"How may I help you?"

"C-can I see Gerard Way?" Frank held his breath as the lady verified and hopefully confirm his request. "Room 182. Take a turn to the left and you can ride the elevator." Frank breathed again. He could go see Gerard now. Frank hurried to the elevator and thought about what he would say to Gerard if he was awake. Do I just say hello? Or do I not say anything? Should I mention the fact that he had tried to kill himself? Frank almost missed the ding of the elevator, signaling his stop. Frank just realized his hands felt clammy. He was fucking nervous. Why? Well, he had absolutely no fucking clue. 

______________

Gerard had been trying to fight the darkness for so fucking long. Gerard screamed, cried, and even begged. Gerard was on the verge of giving up. For what seemed like days, Gerard thought about nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was so fucking depressing. He couldn't fall asleep or wake up. What made it worse was the fact that Gerard knew that he was missing all of his memories. Every. Single. Damn. One. Not even a glimpse of what happened before he lost them. It was even worse than hell.

Gerard heard noise. Suddenly Gerard was alert. Fucking noise?! Maybe someone could help him. Oh god, he hoped someone could. Gerard wished he could cry. After what he thought was a shuffle of footsteps, came not one sound. It was nothing. Gerard listened again but focused even harder. There was someone on the outside world..... talking to him? Gerard could make out a male voice and the guy seemed to be comfortable talking to Gerard. Was this guy a friend from before?

______________

Frank knew this was a stupid idea. Frank was talking to Gerard Way even when he knew Gerard couldn't hear a word. But, Frank would feel better once he talked to Gerard, awake or not. So, Frank talked about Gerard. Frank talked about himself. And Frank talked about what was going on in the world. It was comforting to talk to Gerard Way. He seemed like a great listener. Well, duh, Gerard was in a coma. Hours later, Frank had told Gerard almost everything about his life and family. Fuck, he even started to talk about his dead grandpa. That was how much Frank wanted to talk to Gerard. Frank didn't understand why he spilled everything to Gerard.

Frank sat in silence with Gerard Way. Frank enjoyed the silence. He never really got to sneak away moments like these. Frank looked at the time. 9:54 pm. Oh shit. He needed to get home. Frank stood up and patted Gerard's hand as a friendly good-bye gesture. Okay well it was awkward. But what was more awkward was the fact that Gerard's eyes fluttered open at Frank's touch. Gerard was awake. And Gerard was wearing a smirk.

Fuck Gerard. He probably heard everything Frank was talking about. 

Frank regretted his life decisions for over the sixth time that day.

_____________

Gerard woke up at the touch of the guy's hand. Gerard had been listening to the guy talk and with what he could hear, his name was Frank. And he was the one to rescue and save his life. So Frank was not a friend yet. Gerard was touched that there was someone that cared for shit like him and actually talked about stuff going on in life. Although, Gerard did feel bad that Frank wasn't anticipating him to be listening. Gerard opened his eyes and smirked at the guy who was sitting at the foot of the bed. Gerard's heart stopped beating when he looked into his eyes. Frank was cute with shoulder length black hair and his eyes, oh god, his eyes were hazel but so adorable. Frank was the most pleasant person to look at. 

"W-what the fuck...G-Gerard?!" Frank stuttered and stared at Gerard with eyes the size of the moon. Gerard snapped out of his trance and mentally kicked himself. He shouldn't be thinking these things when he had other problems at hand. But, those problems could wait. Right now, Gerard could spare some time to flirt with Frank.

"I'm awake cause you fucking woke me up, sugar." Well, that wasn't flirting.... quite yet. 

"I-I...Fuck. Gerard?! D-did you hear-" Frank twisted his hands nervously.

"Mmm...You could say I did, sugar." Gerard smirk grew wider. Frank clenched his fists. He didn't like that.

"You don't have to act like an asshole okay? I was fucking worried about you. You know that?" Gerard didn't know what to say to that so he dropped his smile. Frank continued.

"And you know what? I shouldn't have fucking worried about you. It looks like you are fucking normal and now you can go back to life. I'm glad you survived." Frank turned around to leave and Gerard panicked. He couldn't be left here. Gerard didn't have any of his memories and Frank was the only connection he had now. Gerard couldn't let Frank fucking abandon him.

"F-Frank!" Gerard stumbled out of the hospital bed because his limbs weren't really responding yet and he fell straight to the ground. Gerard yelped in pain but it was worth it when Frank turned to look back at him. 

"Oh shit, Gerard are you okay?!" Frank raced and stumbled over to help Gerard back up on the bed. Gerard opened his mouth to say something but his voice wasn't working.

"G-Gerard? Fuck, what's wrong?" Frank looked like he was genuinely worried for Gerard. 

"Frank, I-I don't fucking remember anything." And Gerard broke down crying. Frank sat on the bed next to him and awkwardly put his arms around Gerard. Frank was so warm. Gerard was so cold. Frank rubbed circles into his back while Gerard cried about his lost memories. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Frank spoke softly. Gerard shook his head and sighed. 

"There's nothing to talk about." Gerard let out a humorless chuckle. "I mean think about it. You're asking a guy, who lost everything, to talk about it? I-It feels like a dark void, Frank." Gerard whispered the last part and let out another sob. Frank gripped him tighter.

"I don't know what to fucking say." Frank admitted. Gerard lifted his head a little and met Frank's eyes. "Then don't say anything." With that, Gerard and Frank sat there for quite awhile only thinking about how they were holding each other. They weren't thinking about the mess they were leaving behind them or all the choices they were about to make. 

They were either making or breaking their life from then on.


	6. And which Gerard forgets his dick of a brother (then misses his selfish friend)

Frank left Gerard an hour after Gerard's breakdown. Gerard didn't feel any better after crying either. In fact, he felt a hundred percent worse. The nurses tried cheering Gerard up with whatever shitty "entertainment" they had on hand but that failed when Gerard had snapped, telling them to "shut the fuck up or I will kill you". Gerard admitted that he felt sorta bad for sending them off with horror filled faces but he needed to be alone. To collect whatever thoughts had been jumbled around in his head. Gerard was killing himself trying to remember his past. But, no matter how hard Gerard thought about it, he couldn't remember a single damn thing. Gerard gave up and before he knew it, he was closing his eyes and saying goodnight to another fucked up day.

Gerard dreamed he was talking to someone. The guy looked strangely familiar. Someone from his past. He had blonde tipped hair and a sharp jawline. And this guy's eyes.... they looked alarmingly like Gerard's. Were they.....brothers? Gerard racked his brain for any other spark of memory that would've linked to this man but before he could reach out to grasp the memory, someone had to go and fucking wake him up. Gerard hesitantly opened his eyes then shut them again when he realized the room was too bright. Oh yes, Gerard was pissed.

"Fuck off." Gerard rolled onto his side and ignored whoever was there. The person just sighed and annoyingly, to Gerard, didn't seem fazed.

"I don't believe you remember me then." He almost sounded sad. "Gee, c-can you look at me?"

Gee? What the hell was that nickname? Gerard didn't want to see him. He just wanted to stay in his little hell of a confinement and only speak to Frank. Yes, Frank was his only friend. But, Gerard didn't always get what he wanted or needed. "Fine." Gerard sat up and turned his head to the person and-

Gerard's eyes widened. "Fuck." This was the guy in his dream. 

The guy looked relieved and released whatever tension he had in his shoulders. "You remember me then?" Gerard glared at him. Was this guy oblivious to the fact that Gerard had lost all his fucking memories? This guy sure knows how to rub it in.

"No." Gerard stated. The guy started tearing up. Oh come on. Gerard didn't need another person crying this week. 

"This is all my fault isn't it? Gee- fuck, I'm sorry." The guy leaned over and gave Gerard a hug and Gerard stiffened. "Who the fuck are you?" Gerard pushed back the guy and gave him a glare. The guy frowned. 

"I-I am your brother- Mikey." He whispered and wiped whatever tears had been running down his face. Gerard narrowed his eyes then turned cold when something struck him odd. Mikey said he was sorry and Gerard started believing Mikey was the cause of his mental and physical health. Fuck, if Mikey had been the one to fuck up his life, well, Gerard didn't want him in the picture. 

"What did you do, huh?" Gerard didn't give a shit about being nice at this point, not like he was ever being nice before. Mikey froze on spot and in fact, he didn't even look like he was even listening to Gerard anymore. 

"Well- I..." Mikey stuttered and looked guilty. That was enough of an answer to Gerard.

"Get your fucking ass out of this room. In fact, out of this damn hospital. I don't want to talk or see you again, Mikey." Gerard growled and Mikey looked stunned; he wasn't expecting that. "But-"

"What the fuck did I say, Mikey?" His name felt weird coming off Gerard's tongue because it felt so familiar. "I said to GET THE FUCK OUT! You ruined my fucking life, you fucking know that don't you?!" Gerard bursted out. He didn't mean to scream at him; Gerard had a sudden burst of anger. Mikey stood in shock. His answer made him want to take back what he had said too.

"Okay. Just- just remember that I will always love you, Gee. I wasn't thinking when I-I said...That." After a few seconds of silence, Mikey Way, his only brother and his only other connection to his memories, walked out on Gerard. Gerard should've felt even a little bit of joy for hurting the man that was the cause of all this shit but all Gerard could feel was complete heartache and emptiness. There was a black hole dug so deep in Gerard's heart that he couldn't go back and fill it in. He was too late. Gerard fucked up and he didn't know how to fix it. For the second time that day, Gerard cried. He needed Frank more than ever. 

~~~

Frank heard his phone ringing from across his bed. Frank groaned and blindly grabbed for it. Three attempts later, Frank had the phone in his hand and he was looking at the caller ID. Strange. Frank didn't recognize the number but despite his better judgement, Frank answered the phone.

"Hello?" Frank croaked out and had to clear his throat. 

"H-hey..." A tentative masculine voice sounded over the phone. It sounded familiar but Frank couldn't put his finger on it. Frank stayed silent. If the guy wanted to talk, Frank wasn't going to start the conversation. The problem was the line went almost completely silent. All Frank could hear was rustling of....blankets? Frank grew impatient.

"Um. Hello? This is Frank?" Frank waited long enough to start wondering if this was a troll. Frank wouldn't be surprised because it sure hadn't not happened multiple times before that. Frank sighed and looked at the caller ID again... Nope. Frank still didn't recognize it.

"Y-yeah.... Frankie..Um.." Frank widened his eyes at his nickname. Gerard? A million thoughts raced through his head as he recognized Gerard's voice. Why was he calling him? What happened? And guiltily, Frank was seriously considering ignoring Gerard and ending the call. Just carry on with life. I mean, who in their right mind would want to get involved with problematic people? Not Frank because he had already had to go through with that. Just once he had let someone into his life and he had to go and kill himself. Frank had to shove his thoughts deep down to avoid reopening an already plastered up and cracked heart.

"Frankie?" Gerard whispered. Frank snapped out of his dark thoughts.

"Yeah?" 

"D-do you think you can....Well, perhaps come over here?" Gerard sounded nervous. He probably thought Frank was going to reject him. Frank would've said no but the poor guy sounded so damn heartbroken. And alone. And fucking desperate. Frank had been there too many times to count.

"Mmm...Okay." This was going to be a long day.

"Okay?" Gerard said with his voice shaky. Frank shrugged, forgetting that Gerard wasn't in the same room and couldn't see him. Frank contemplated what he had just committed to. Oh well, not like Frank had any other plans for the day. Except sleep, sleep was always the number priority. But today? Frank could spend a day being selfless. It couldn't hurt.

Frank made his final answer. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 am and I'm writing. I probably screwed this one up xD


End file.
